you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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