i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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