hell yes lets make some ravioli
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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