Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
