just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize