That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
