Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
