Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
