I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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