You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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