i just google imaged poop.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
