how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
