Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
