I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm bleeding and have questions
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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