hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
