yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
