his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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