i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
