She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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