erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
