You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize