I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
