Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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