Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
