that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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