So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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