Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
