I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
