i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
