My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
