Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
