Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
