I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
