This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
