He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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