Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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