Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
