I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
