it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
