I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
