It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
