I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
