Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
