I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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