So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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