I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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