i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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