I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
