Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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