We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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