I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
