Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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