we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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