He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
