her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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