Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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