So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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