ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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