he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Terrible idea I love it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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