don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
