I hate all girls vehemently.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
