my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize