I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
